Trading Wetnaps for Votes
Today Dr. Actually related that, at the big State Fair this past week, he visited the Kerry and the Bush booths and they were "manned by stereotypes. The Bushies were all young Republican college kids, clean cut with jacket and ties and polished shoes." The Dems, on the other hand, were attempting the look of an Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere-era Neil Young after a weekend of shroomin' in an cornfield. Typical.
My experience at the "biggest little" rural township fair near my home was quite different. There, both booths were staffed by white, mostly 40-something Midwesterners in L.L. Bean (or, more likely, J.C. Penney) weekend clothes, which was appropriate for the location. They appeared clean, with very non-controversial hairstyles. One of the Bushies--younger than the others--was wearing a shirt with the scathing symbol of the moment (flip-flops) on it. I didn't stoop in for a closer look at the wording, but I'm sure it was an attempt at "humor." Strange...I didn't realize they were programmed for that!
The Kerry booth was Kerrycteristically non-descript, and I had just passed it when my cell phone rang. It was my mother. I should explain at this point that I was walking to the far side of the fair to meet up with my mom, my son Spawnasaurus, and various other relatives. She instructed me to go to the Kerry booth (which I had just passed!) as they were giving away free wetnaps, and my contribution to the future was encrusted with blue cotton candy. I turned around--against the main flow of fair traffic, mind you--and went to the booth. Once there, I began to go for the wetnap when one of the smiling, 40-something, casually-dressed Kerry supporters asked "Can I help you with something?"
I said, "Yes. I'll vote for Kerry if you give me a wetnap."
She replied, laughingly, "Oh! Well then get her several!"
To which I reminded this lawless, maggot-infested (thanks, Rush!), full-of-hate agitator, "Hey! One wetnap, one vote."
I then walked away, laughing at her ignorance. I was going to vote for Kerry anyway! Coup!
I found my mom and son, wiped the sugary detritus from his mouth, cheeks, eyeballs, hands, forearms (carefully avoiding the fresh Spiderman tattoo that covered an entire half of his arm) and clothing, and proceeded to blow $33 on Skee-ball and any game that involved using guns.
The point of my story? The Democrats are vying to stuff the ballot boxes by plying a filthy, fair-food covered populace with wetnaps. Yes, your innocent request for a premoistened towelette unlocks the door to a festering bathhouse of vote-stuffing depravity.
It's all there, people! Wake up!
My experience at the "biggest little" rural township fair near my home was quite different. There, both booths were staffed by white, mostly 40-something Midwesterners in L.L. Bean (or, more likely, J.C. Penney) weekend clothes, which was appropriate for the location. They appeared clean, with very non-controversial hairstyles. One of the Bushies--younger than the others--was wearing a shirt with the scathing symbol of the moment (flip-flops) on it. I didn't stoop in for a closer look at the wording, but I'm sure it was an attempt at "humor." Strange...I didn't realize they were programmed for that!
The Kerry booth was Kerrycteristically non-descript, and I had just passed it when my cell phone rang. It was my mother. I should explain at this point that I was walking to the far side of the fair to meet up with my mom, my son Spawnasaurus, and various other relatives. She instructed me to go to the Kerry booth (which I had just passed!) as they were giving away free wetnaps, and my contribution to the future was encrusted with blue cotton candy. I turned around--against the main flow of fair traffic, mind you--and went to the booth. Once there, I began to go for the wetnap when one of the smiling, 40-something, casually-dressed Kerry supporters asked "Can I help you with something?"
I said, "Yes. I'll vote for Kerry if you give me a wetnap."
She replied, laughingly, "Oh! Well then get her several!"
To which I reminded this lawless, maggot-infested (thanks, Rush!), full-of-hate agitator, "Hey! One wetnap, one vote."
I then walked away, laughing at her ignorance. I was going to vote for Kerry anyway! Coup!
I found my mom and son, wiped the sugary detritus from his mouth, cheeks, eyeballs, hands, forearms (carefully avoiding the fresh Spiderman tattoo that covered an entire half of his arm) and clothing, and proceeded to blow $33 on Skee-ball and any game that involved using guns.
The point of my story? The Democrats are vying to stuff the ballot boxes by plying a filthy, fair-food covered populace with wetnaps. Yes, your innocent request for a premoistened towelette unlocks the door to a festering bathhouse of vote-stuffing depravity.
It's all there, people! Wake up!
posted by lulu | 11:30 AM
1 Comments:
Before Dr. A clarifies it--as he so often does--the flip flop shirts are a "humorous" attempt to portrary Kerry as a . . . you guessed it . . . flip flopper.
You know, he changed his mind on an issue, as opposed to rigidly holding onto his views no matter the evidence. He can't be trusted to make a decision once and then ram it down everyone's throat for the rest of time.
(But maybe you already knew that?)
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