In My Life: Prologue and Episode 1
So I've decided to start a series of blogs highlighting the past and present, if I can remember/find it, of some of my old boyfriends and flings. A "boyfriend" is hereby defined as someone that I dated exclusively for a time period of at least one earth season. A "fling" is a guy I hung out with. This could be short term (yes, even one night), or a guy that I bumped into now and then, over a longer period of time, with more or less good results.
I'm going to preface this amusing-to-me but likely short-lived series with two statements:
1. I am very happily married to the coolest guy of all time, who had his own adventures, by the way.
2. Most of these guys were great guys, and none were real full-blown jackasses, despite isolated episodes that would suggest otherwise.
What inspired me, curious reader? Ha, ha, curiosity is a good thing! I was inspired by my lunchtime conversation with select members of Millard Fillmore's Japanese Friends, who with the exception of one woman and one almost-23-year-old, have compiled a considerable deficit in the sheer number of other people that they have grooved on.
The first subject is "Nob" (names have been reversed to protect these guys from consumer fraud). Nob, who legally changed his name from Kram for some odd reason, was a hybrid fling-boyfriend that I encountered while living in Moab.
I must admit that I was attracted to him right away. He's a big guy--at least 6'4", not thin but far from fat, just big. And brunette (an anomaly, as you will see, but a subconscious one). Pretty cute, too, in a conventional, high-schoolish sort of way. But he was very confident, and guys, that is huge. Right after we had met, we were sitting in a tiny room together, very close, me making an audition tape for a DJ position on the local public radio station, he helping me figure out the equipment. Don't think I wasn't thinking about it, or that I wouldn't have done it if we had been alone. That would be a mistake.
Soon after, we went out, I forget where, and started a rather torrid affair. Despite his dumb name, he was very manly and had some of those old-school secrets of seduction going on. You know, fear is actually keeping me from writing the next sentence, because I know my mother and coworkers read this. It's pathetic, really. I think I may have to start another blog, a top-secret blog, so that I can tell you the girly things, like the thing that kept me interested even though he had mostly good taste in music but some really lame taste, and that he never said anything hilarious, and that he had a tendency to take my company for granted, and that he was all hyped up about, yes, Y2K, and once butted in on MY show to warn people about it. NOT cool. Also, when Kevin (my husband, ya'll, don't forget about him!) saw that I was semi-dating him, his interest in me nearly waned! This despite his professed first thought when he first saw me walking across the dusty parking lot of KZMU, in a red halter top and white miniskirt (Giiiirl! She was a TRAMP!), "I will have her." Yes, I'm laughing. But he was right. And Nob almost ruined it.
So anyway, he had a tendency to ignore me. So I went out on a hiking date with Mij, this totally cute and cool guy that worked at the record store (the owner of which I also went on a couple of dates with, inexplicably, at a later time), who happened to sport a "biohazard" symbol tattoo on the back of his neck. I asked him why, like duh, and he said that humans were biohazards, but that he did what he could to minimize his own impact. Apparently, his tattooist used only organically-grown vegetable dyes.
Shortly after, I get a call from Nob, dinner at the best restaurant in town, a confession of past stupidity (his), and an invitation to an exclusive relationship. As he's making his case, I am catching glimpses of the music store, which is across the street from the restaurant, and which contains Mij. Although my date with Mij did not lead to another, it did reopen the realm of possibilities. With this on my mind, I told Nob that dating would be fun, but going from "eh, maybe I'll call Lulu" to "Lulu is my one-and-only girlfriend" needed to proceed at a slower pace.
A chill settled over the half-empty wine glasses . . . and he stood me up on our next, and last, date.
So what's he doing now? I couldn't find his picture on the Internet, which was surprising, but my little search confirmed that Nob is still a mover and shaker in the little pond of Moab, as evidenced by the following activities, documented in the Moab Times Independent:
1. A peace rally:
A crowd gathered on the lawn of the Grand County Courthouse on Monday evening to protest President Bush’s stand on possible war with Iraq. About 130 people attended the quiet rally - the largest turnout per capita of the eight rallies held around the state. . . . The demonstration was one of many "Stand for Peace" gatherings statewide to protest the prospective war between Iraq and the United States. Nob X, one of the local organizers of the protest said, "If enough Americans make their feelings known to Congress now, especially with an election coming up, maybe Congress will listen." . . . A brief verse of the chant "all we are saying, give peace a chance" rose from the crowd and transported the assembly into a scene from the 1960s and 1970s.
2. A City Council meeting concerning the crucial "Moab Response" to the Patriot Act:
After hearing input from various outspoken citizens on both sides of the issue, the Moab City Council Tuesday night decided not to take action on a proposed resolution in response to the federal government’s Patriot Act. . . . "The Patriot Act and other executive orders are designed to protect U.S. citizens," added Rod P., a local resident and a military veteran who cited the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on U.S. soil. "I would go the extra mile for anyone here, to see that their house doesn’t get blown up," he said. . . . But Nob X said, "Just because the Patriot Act was passed by those numbers, to me does not make it a wise decision." Nob X cited a number of historical figures during his earlier speech to the council in favor of the resolution, and at one point read a selection from John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage. . . ."This is not about what’s going on in Iraq," Nob X added. "It’s about our governance and our Constitution … Our liberty is most hallowed."
I give our time together a C. It was cool when his weathered old Bronco-type vehicle, the roof of which had witnessed unspeakable things, was featured in a photo shoot in "Women's Sports and Fitness" magazine, but the Y2K thing, eh, not so cool. And, in general, Texans are nobs.
I'm going to preface this amusing-to-me but likely short-lived series with two statements:
1. I am very happily married to the coolest guy of all time, who had his own adventures, by the way.
2. Most of these guys were great guys, and none were real full-blown jackasses, despite isolated episodes that would suggest otherwise.
What inspired me, curious reader? Ha, ha, curiosity is a good thing! I was inspired by my lunchtime conversation with select members of Millard Fillmore's Japanese Friends, who with the exception of one woman and one almost-23-year-old, have compiled a considerable deficit in the sheer number of other people that they have grooved on.
The first subject is "Nob" (names have been reversed to protect these guys from consumer fraud). Nob, who legally changed his name from Kram for some odd reason, was a hybrid fling-boyfriend that I encountered while living in Moab.
I must admit that I was attracted to him right away. He's a big guy--at least 6'4", not thin but far from fat, just big. And brunette (an anomaly, as you will see, but a subconscious one). Pretty cute, too, in a conventional, high-schoolish sort of way. But he was very confident, and guys, that is huge. Right after we had met, we were sitting in a tiny room together, very close, me making an audition tape for a DJ position on the local public radio station, he helping me figure out the equipment. Don't think I wasn't thinking about it, or that I wouldn't have done it if we had been alone. That would be a mistake.
Soon after, we went out, I forget where, and started a rather torrid affair. Despite his dumb name, he was very manly and had some of those old-school secrets of seduction going on. You know, fear is actually keeping me from writing the next sentence, because I know my mother and coworkers read this. It's pathetic, really. I think I may have to start another blog, a top-secret blog, so that I can tell you the girly things, like the thing that kept me interested even though he had mostly good taste in music but some really lame taste, and that he never said anything hilarious, and that he had a tendency to take my company for granted, and that he was all hyped up about, yes, Y2K, and once butted in on MY show to warn people about it. NOT cool. Also, when Kevin (my husband, ya'll, don't forget about him!) saw that I was semi-dating him, his interest in me nearly waned! This despite his professed first thought when he first saw me walking across the dusty parking lot of KZMU, in a red halter top and white miniskirt (Giiiirl! She was a TRAMP!), "I will have her." Yes, I'm laughing. But he was right. And Nob almost ruined it.
So anyway, he had a tendency to ignore me. So I went out on a hiking date with Mij, this totally cute and cool guy that worked at the record store (the owner of which I also went on a couple of dates with, inexplicably, at a later time), who happened to sport a "biohazard" symbol tattoo on the back of his neck. I asked him why, like duh, and he said that humans were biohazards, but that he did what he could to minimize his own impact. Apparently, his tattooist used only organically-grown vegetable dyes.
Shortly after, I get a call from Nob, dinner at the best restaurant in town, a confession of past stupidity (his), and an invitation to an exclusive relationship. As he's making his case, I am catching glimpses of the music store, which is across the street from the restaurant, and which contains Mij. Although my date with Mij did not lead to another, it did reopen the realm of possibilities. With this on my mind, I told Nob that dating would be fun, but going from "eh, maybe I'll call Lulu" to "Lulu is my one-and-only girlfriend" needed to proceed at a slower pace.
A chill settled over the half-empty wine glasses . . . and he stood me up on our next, and last, date.
So what's he doing now? I couldn't find his picture on the Internet, which was surprising, but my little search confirmed that Nob is still a mover and shaker in the little pond of Moab, as evidenced by the following activities, documented in the Moab Times Independent:
1. A peace rally:
A crowd gathered on the lawn of the Grand County Courthouse on Monday evening to protest President Bush’s stand on possible war with Iraq. About 130 people attended the quiet rally - the largest turnout per capita of the eight rallies held around the state. . . . The demonstration was one of many "Stand for Peace" gatherings statewide to protest the prospective war between Iraq and the United States. Nob X, one of the local organizers of the protest said, "If enough Americans make their feelings known to Congress now, especially with an election coming up, maybe Congress will listen." . . . A brief verse of the chant "all we are saying, give peace a chance" rose from the crowd and transported the assembly into a scene from the 1960s and 1970s.
2. A City Council meeting concerning the crucial "Moab Response" to the Patriot Act:
After hearing input from various outspoken citizens on both sides of the issue, the Moab City Council Tuesday night decided not to take action on a proposed resolution in response to the federal government’s Patriot Act. . . . "The Patriot Act and other executive orders are designed to protect U.S. citizens," added Rod P., a local resident and a military veteran who cited the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on U.S. soil. "I would go the extra mile for anyone here, to see that their house doesn’t get blown up," he said. . . . But Nob X said, "Just because the Patriot Act was passed by those numbers, to me does not make it a wise decision." Nob X cited a number of historical figures during his earlier speech to the council in favor of the resolution, and at one point read a selection from John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage. . . ."This is not about what’s going on in Iraq," Nob X added. "It’s about our governance and our Constitution … Our liberty is most hallowed."
I give our time together a C. It was cool when his weathered old Bronco-type vehicle, the roof of which had witnessed unspeakable things, was featured in a photo shoot in "Women's Sports and Fitness" magazine, but the Y2K thing, eh, not so cool. And, in general, Texans are nobs.
posted by lulu | 10:05 AM
3 Comments:
you know what. my blog is pretty much about boys and that's why i don't want to share with everyone at work. although you all probably suspect that i'm the girly, cheeseball-y type, i don't want to confirm your suspicions by letting you see it in the form of a blog. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE. who cares right. so if you're curious about how cheeseball i can get, my site is http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=RikDowntown.
enjoy.
So I am confused.
You lost me there in the ramble about the additional secret blog. Did you divulge the secret nobby thing that kept you interested? Are we supposed to guess?
Did I miss it because I am a relationship virgin in comparison to you?
So many questions . . .
I love how these things happen in clusters. I'm knocked out by your candor and detail; must be my voyeuristic streak. So on my way home I heard on NPR about the popularity in China of sites like "The Ninth City" where people invent a virtual identity and engage in complex relationships, marriages, careers, losses, etc., with other people's virtual selves. Cool yet very bizarre, methinks. So, back to Lulu, it's okay that you made all this up, it's a good story, and it adds texture to all our fluid little realities.
Post a Comment
<< Home