Born Rich: The Genteel Review

"When people talk about money, they are nervous that that calls into question their right to have the money and the wealth that they possess."

That quote is from Jamie Johnson, the heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. Jamie made a documentary called "Born Rich" in which he interviews other 20-something heirs and heiresses about their money-soaked lives. Grade: B-

I liked this documentary. Like Jamie, I like talking about money and how it shapes and sometimes dictates our lives. Mr. Johnson's motive was all about uncovering WHY talking about money is such a taboo among the super-wealthy. (I wonder about the same thing in my own socio-econ group.) The kid wants to avoid the mistakes of those that were given all of this money and privilege and yet still manage(d) to be very unhappy. I can dig that. And he manages to get some revealing interviews despite his subjects' nervousness about breaking the taboo on camera (it probably helped that they were all young and still invincible) and the disapproval of his father who, like his father, inherited his wealth, never had to work, and denied their wealth when asked.

A few of the subjects lived up to the Rich Punk stereotypes--they really were like the asshole rich kids in "Pretty in Pink". They judge presidents on the placement of their suit lapels and call future marriage prospects "ungrateful bitches" and "golddiggers" if they don't want to sign prenups. The "ungrateful bitch" guy also made a comment that, when addressing townies, he'd say things like "my family could buy your family". He also bragged about graduating from Brown despite his almost complete failure to show up for class. One heiress was just a step up from Paris Hilton, using her screentime to clue us all in on how this handbag is the classic bag--so practical! And only $800 or so. It's shit like that that makes we of little means hate rich people. I used to, when I was their age. Now I just think it's kind of pathetic, and I'm grateful for my ability to get together with friends and have a good time without reveling in a mandatory $500 drink minimum per table.

I am not jealous of the superrich, and I was happy to have that reinforced throughout this documentary. People are people. Some are charming and smart and want to make a difference in the world. Some are not. And I found myself feeling a little sorry for the less well-adjusted ones, or the ones who think it's worthwhile to spend their lives "cultivating" the perfect suit (with the perfectly placed lapels, mind you) or reveling in their old European money splendor (thank you, Mr. Great-Grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm!).

You know those quest-type video games, where you have to go on a journey and acquire things like swords and magic rings and health potions? You need to make sure that you have the right stuff--you can only carry so much--to meet your needs as you progress to the castle to save the royal and complete your task. The fun of those games is in the strategy--you go there to get this, you fight using that, you go back to drop off something and pick up something else, etc. You earn things, you make decisions, you reach a goal. For most of us, that is the story of our money. I count myself as one of the very lucky ones for having enough money to be able to make some choices. The kids in Born Rich started that game with every single weapon, magic ring, and potion in their arsenal. Where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge, the goal, the sense of accomplishment for having earned something? Some of them even acknowledged the cheating their forebears engaged in to get rich in the first place--can you imagine not only NOT earning your millions, but knowing that those millions were gained through criminal (Vanderbilt) or murderous (Euro royalty) means?

I don't deny that I wouldn't mind having some of the experiences that wealth can bring--the travel, the spas, and wonderful restaurants--and I wouldn't mind having more leisure time to spend with my kids or my quilts or whatever the hell I wanted to do. But they have nothing but time, and didn't seem to take any extra joy in an African safari with 10 African "servants" (for 5 people) than I or my family took in our upscale camping trip to Washington. I certainly wouldn't mind getting ahold of a cool 10 million or so, but I would count my lucky stars that I grew up the way I did. If you are lucky enough to have enough money to cover the basics of life and a little extra, you will be as happy--or as miserable--as you choose to be. Rich people might have a different level of experience (private planes) or expectation (the actual possibility of building a skyscraper in Manhattan), but the basics in life--education, work (of SOME sort), love, goals, figuring out why we're here--are pretty much the same for all of us. And achieving the best of all of those is quite possible without $20 billion.

By the way, I gave the film a B- because it spent a little too much time on the surface. Jamie asked some good questions, but not enough, and he didn't get quite enough out of his subjects. His subjects were the other problem. Rich or poor, most 21-year olds are pretty boring and even annoying. They rarely have substantial "real" life experience and, when it comes to these rich kids, they've never had to DO anything so they're even more boring outside of their freakish economic circumstances. A follow-up documentary--maybe in a decade or so--would be much more interesting. Did they manage to find something to do with their lives besides collect historic documents (as Johnson's father suggested . . . as a career)? Did they learn to clam-up about money, or did they bust that generations-old taboo?

Now get back to work!