Mood Swings
I was in such a pissy mood yesterday. Kevin came in and started cuddling at 6 in the morning. This turned into the all-but-inevitable quest for sex, and I said No Thanks. It was 6 in the morning! In general, I don't like first-thing-in-the-morning sex as I have too much on my mind and it's only a matter of time before a kid wakes up. Question: Why are men so damn horny in the morning? Really! I couldn't feel less attractive or into it. Unless I had a sex dream. Which I hadn't.
Anyway, after I said no he immediately retreated to his side of the bed. Cuddle time over! If I can't get into your pants, what's the point? Grrrr. I called him on it last night and he fessed up to this rather obnoxious behavior. Problem over? Not sure! Too much to go into now. Seems like pretty typical relationship stuff. I don't need dinner and roses and all that crap, but a little effort, a little actual seduction wouldn't hurt every now and then.
The other person that pissed me off was Stevie. He pulled one of his little tantrums. I asked him "What's your problem?" and, with a really bratty look on his face he wordlessly and pointedly pointed at ME. What the hell did I do? I didn't make him boxed mac and cheese; I made him delicious homemade mac and cheese--and not the dry casserole type, but really awesome and "loose" mac and cheese. And I occasionally forget to roll the windows up when we start driving fast. What a bitch I am!
I could have reacted two ways: blow it off and work him through his morning routine, or get pissed and let him have it. I chose the latter and then was disappointed in both him and me and it irritated me most of the day.
Then, as I was painting-endlessly-painting I started to get into fights with people in my head. It started with the new neo-con line on Ann Coulter. Did you know that she is actually just "funny" now? What--you whiny liberals don't get the joke? I think it started with the hyper-obnoxious new neo-con Dennis Miller. She was a guest on his show and he said that her hate speech was funny--she's got "chops". And he should know because he's as funny and clever and some obscure-ass reference that only about 1% of people would get and you'd hate those people anyway. That was over a month ago. The other day on daytime TV, they did a story about Elizabeth Edwards calling in to a show where Ann was the guest and calling her out for all the smack she keeps saying about John Edwards. Pat Buchanan, a talking head asked for his brilliant fucking take on the situation, said that Ann was just "funny". Yeah. It's hilarious to say that Edwards should have been killed in a terrorist attack. I'm apparently an idiot when it comes to the subtle humor of this evil hack. So anyway, that's what was in my head. Fun, huh?
Then I get home and am just aching to have an evening free of kids and husband. I don't have those feelings very often. Most of the time I am happy to spend time with them and can hold out until 8 when the kids are in bed to do my thing. But last night I just wanted to go home, take a MUCH needed shower, get myself some food and wine, and chill out. It was not to be. I cooked dinner in between cleaning up the messes that Mark was constantly making (why aren't babies interested in actual toys? Why Sharpies and my thread and the pepper grinder? WHY?!), oh, and I was sans husband's help because he had to go back to the shop and wait while the air conditioner guy finished up and then talked his ear off for an additional HALF HOUR. I decided to give the kids a bath and Mark chose to freak out about not having his blanket so he was screaming and squirming the whole time. This is unusual--he's obviously reacting to his new gig at the babysitter's house and this is how his separation anxiety is manifesting.
Finally, kids are in bed. I make myself a bowl of ice cream with toasted walnuts and am two seconds from leaving the kitchen when my mother-in-law, passing by outside, sees me through the window and turns to come in the house. Fuck! She "needs" to talk to Stevie--who is in bed but not asleep, and right across the room from his little brother who is in his crib but not asleep--about their plans for today. Then she comes downstairs and tells me what was just said upstairs. All the while, my ice cream sits. She didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I didn't want even one more person in my house. The house is a fishbowl--it's at ground level and there are always people coming and going--workers, mowers, neighbors, aunts and uncles walking across the yard to get to the horse, people all the time. Curtains are a necessity in this house unless I suddenly learn to like peeing and dressing in front of whomever walks by at that moment.
Today is better. Much better, actually. But I had to get that out.
Anyway, after I said no he immediately retreated to his side of the bed. Cuddle time over! If I can't get into your pants, what's the point? Grrrr. I called him on it last night and he fessed up to this rather obnoxious behavior. Problem over? Not sure! Too much to go into now. Seems like pretty typical relationship stuff. I don't need dinner and roses and all that crap, but a little effort, a little actual seduction wouldn't hurt every now and then.
The other person that pissed me off was Stevie. He pulled one of his little tantrums. I asked him "What's your problem?" and, with a really bratty look on his face he wordlessly and pointedly pointed at ME. What the hell did I do? I didn't make him boxed mac and cheese; I made him delicious homemade mac and cheese--and not the dry casserole type, but really awesome and "loose" mac and cheese. And I occasionally forget to roll the windows up when we start driving fast. What a bitch I am!
I could have reacted two ways: blow it off and work him through his morning routine, or get pissed and let him have it. I chose the latter and then was disappointed in both him and me and it irritated me most of the day.
Then, as I was painting-endlessly-painting I started to get into fights with people in my head. It started with the new neo-con line on Ann Coulter. Did you know that she is actually just "funny" now? What--you whiny liberals don't get the joke? I think it started with the hyper-obnoxious new neo-con Dennis Miller. She was a guest on his show and he said that her hate speech was funny--she's got "chops". And he should know because he's as funny and clever and some obscure-ass reference that only about 1% of people would get and you'd hate those people anyway. That was over a month ago. The other day on daytime TV, they did a story about Elizabeth Edwards calling in to a show where Ann was the guest and calling her out for all the smack she keeps saying about John Edwards. Pat Buchanan, a talking head asked for his brilliant fucking take on the situation, said that Ann was just "funny". Yeah. It's hilarious to say that Edwards should have been killed in a terrorist attack. I'm apparently an idiot when it comes to the subtle humor of this evil hack. So anyway, that's what was in my head. Fun, huh?
Then I get home and am just aching to have an evening free of kids and husband. I don't have those feelings very often. Most of the time I am happy to spend time with them and can hold out until 8 when the kids are in bed to do my thing. But last night I just wanted to go home, take a MUCH needed shower, get myself some food and wine, and chill out. It was not to be. I cooked dinner in between cleaning up the messes that Mark was constantly making (why aren't babies interested in actual toys? Why Sharpies and my thread and the pepper grinder? WHY?!), oh, and I was sans husband's help because he had to go back to the shop and wait while the air conditioner guy finished up and then talked his ear off for an additional HALF HOUR. I decided to give the kids a bath and Mark chose to freak out about not having his blanket so he was screaming and squirming the whole time. This is unusual--he's obviously reacting to his new gig at the babysitter's house and this is how his separation anxiety is manifesting.
Finally, kids are in bed. I make myself a bowl of ice cream with toasted walnuts and am two seconds from leaving the kitchen when my mother-in-law, passing by outside, sees me through the window and turns to come in the house. Fuck! She "needs" to talk to Stevie--who is in bed but not asleep, and right across the room from his little brother who is in his crib but not asleep--about their plans for today. Then she comes downstairs and tells me what was just said upstairs. All the while, my ice cream sits. She didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I didn't want even one more person in my house. The house is a fishbowl--it's at ground level and there are always people coming and going--workers, mowers, neighbors, aunts and uncles walking across the yard to get to the horse, people all the time. Curtains are a necessity in this house unless I suddenly learn to like peeing and dressing in front of whomever walks by at that moment.
Today is better. Much better, actually. But I had to get that out.
posted by lulu | 7:15 AM
2 Comments:
If reading random email strings can put you in a better mood, sign me up for daily duty. I'll find something to get the ball rolling. Gotta be more invigorating that sitting and worrying about the next office screw up.
And, you are inspiring me to try and write more and (more importantly) longer and more detailed posts. I admit that I haven't had the blogging fever in a while, but you deserve better introspection in my typing.
Keep it on the good foot--or something like that?
That really pisses me off when people get all bent outa shape over every little thing. JEEZ!
Just one question: Is it a 'mood' when real people are doing real things that cause real reactions? A sanctimonious Buddhist acquaintance of mine says anger is poison and NEVER justified. That's what really pisses me off.
Post a Comment
<< Home