To Clarify . . .
I need to say a few things:
1. It's not all negative. Anthony is remarkably willing to trust us, although it's a slow process. Though I wouldn't rule out Reactive Attachment Disorder completely, Anthony's is more of the "overly attached" kind than the "don't hug me, I am a rock" kind. For this, I am grateful.
2. It's only been 6 days since he moved in. Nothing substantial gets accomplished in 6 days, and I wouldn't end an important relationship after a mere 6 days of strife.
3. Of course, Anthony is in no way to blame for his academic skills, intellectual functioning, or behavior patterns. This kid has had a rough life. When I think about his "If you don't want me, send me back!" outburst, I think that I can't imagine how tough it would be to know, as a kid, that your "parents" had that option--and that several sets of parents had exercised that option. Can you imagine? Now that Kevin and I are in the position to choose that option, I just can't see doing that--no matter how easy our life was just last week! Ignoring the mental anguish such a choice would cause, I can't imagine going through the physical motions of "sending him back." We'd have to dial the social workers, tell them, pack Anthony's few and pathetic items, tell Anthony . . . ugh. And we'd probably be out of the adoption game for good.
4. I will continue to write about our experiences and include detailed information about Anthony's progress. Our situation is far from unique but still of interest and, hopefully, of help to those experiencing the same thing or at least curious about what it's like. Plus, it helps me to vent, to remember and later turn our experiences into a book that will make us fabulously wealthy, and to get objective feedback that really does help. So thanks, dear reader!
1. It's not all negative. Anthony is remarkably willing to trust us, although it's a slow process. Though I wouldn't rule out Reactive Attachment Disorder completely, Anthony's is more of the "overly attached" kind than the "don't hug me, I am a rock" kind. For this, I am grateful.
2. It's only been 6 days since he moved in. Nothing substantial gets accomplished in 6 days, and I wouldn't end an important relationship after a mere 6 days of strife.
3. Of course, Anthony is in no way to blame for his academic skills, intellectual functioning, or behavior patterns. This kid has had a rough life. When I think about his "If you don't want me, send me back!" outburst, I think that I can't imagine how tough it would be to know, as a kid, that your "parents" had that option--and that several sets of parents had exercised that option. Can you imagine? Now that Kevin and I are in the position to choose that option, I just can't see doing that--no matter how easy our life was just last week! Ignoring the mental anguish such a choice would cause, I can't imagine going through the physical motions of "sending him back." We'd have to dial the social workers, tell them, pack Anthony's few and pathetic items, tell Anthony . . . ugh. And we'd probably be out of the adoption game for good.
4. I will continue to write about our experiences and include detailed information about Anthony's progress. Our situation is far from unique but still of interest and, hopefully, of help to those experiencing the same thing or at least curious about what it's like. Plus, it helps me to vent, to remember and later turn our experiences into a book that will make us fabulously wealthy, and to get objective feedback that really does help. So thanks, dear reader!
posted by lulu | 1:41 PM
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