One Thousand Pardons
Whenever one puts something in print without taking the time to really craft it, one can piss people off or, at least, cause misunderstandings. It seems that I did just that with my "On Thanksgiving, Part II" post. I want to make amends.
Though I haven't lied, there are times when I tell a story and leave out a few things because I'm going for a certain vibe--funny, entertaining, frazzled, whatever. In my T-giving post, I described the "stereotypical" behavior of the turkey-frying men and the plight of the woman who did "everything else". I was going for 'amusing'. If I had truly been angry or annoyed at the situation, I would have said so. Lord knows I've voiced my opinion about the men-on-the-couch, women-in-the-kitchen dynamic in holidays past, and have often stated that it will be a different--and better--world when the men of a certain generation die and, thus, no longer serve as a bad influence on today's men.
In truth, there was more to the story. My sister-in-law prefers to work alone in the kitchen, and my brother is truly a New Man when it comes to doing his share for holiday meals. In fact, in the past, my brother has been THE cook for big family dinners that he has hosted, and he is one of the few men in my entire family to voluntarily help with any aspect of a big holiday meal. I should take this opportunity to give a shout-out to my stepdad who, although he is the same age as men who are prone to acting as though having a penis entitles them to sit on it while all the women around them work to make the holidays happen, is THE cook of the house, 365 days a year. He also does dishes. So my brother had a good role model.
So what is this post about? Apologies? Sure, I'll apologize for libel, though I meant none. Sexism as it relates to holiday dinners? Somewhat, although I don't think I need to go into detail about how ridiculous I think it is and how I told my husband that I would never tolerate it happening in our home--and it hasn't, or about how that wasn't really the issue at my brother's house last week. Or is it about writing and the danger of making private thoughts and experiences public? Honestly, I think that topic has been well covered by about a million people, so I won't go into that! I will say, however, that I don't mind "compromising my art" to keep the peace, especially if I am in the wrong--or at least coming across that way.
Though I haven't lied, there are times when I tell a story and leave out a few things because I'm going for a certain vibe--funny, entertaining, frazzled, whatever. In my T-giving post, I described the "stereotypical" behavior of the turkey-frying men and the plight of the woman who did "everything else". I was going for 'amusing'. If I had truly been angry or annoyed at the situation, I would have said so. Lord knows I've voiced my opinion about the men-on-the-couch, women-in-the-kitchen dynamic in holidays past, and have often stated that it will be a different--and better--world when the men of a certain generation die and, thus, no longer serve as a bad influence on today's men.
In truth, there was more to the story. My sister-in-law prefers to work alone in the kitchen, and my brother is truly a New Man when it comes to doing his share for holiday meals. In fact, in the past, my brother has been THE cook for big family dinners that he has hosted, and he is one of the few men in my entire family to voluntarily help with any aspect of a big holiday meal. I should take this opportunity to give a shout-out to my stepdad who, although he is the same age as men who are prone to acting as though having a penis entitles them to sit on it while all the women around them work to make the holidays happen, is THE cook of the house, 365 days a year. He also does dishes. So my brother had a good role model.
So what is this post about? Apologies? Sure, I'll apologize for libel, though I meant none. Sexism as it relates to holiday dinners? Somewhat, although I don't think I need to go into detail about how ridiculous I think it is and how I told my husband that I would never tolerate it happening in our home--and it hasn't, or about how that wasn't really the issue at my brother's house last week. Or is it about writing and the danger of making private thoughts and experiences public? Honestly, I think that topic has been well covered by about a million people, so I won't go into that! I will say, however, that I don't mind "compromising my art" to keep the peace, especially if I am in the wrong--or at least coming across that way.
posted by lulu | 10:14 AM
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