OK, I'm not Rosie O'Donnell, but I interviewed a 4-year-old

Along with the short bio that I completed for Kevin's cousin (see "All About Wonderful Me" below), I also interviewed my son for the same project. I'm going to drop the name hiding thing, especially since I already blew it in a previous entry. My husband's name is Kevin, he HATES the imposed nickname of "Offered," and insists that his nickname, if necessary, be "Lizard."

Anyhoo, Stevie took this interview very seriously and I scribbled fast to get down every precious, just precious, word.

My interview with Stevie
September 20, 2004
by Lulu

What are the three things you like to do the most?
Play with dinosaurs
Eat dinosaur egg oatmeal (an actual product)
Play with my dinosaur set
(When I pressed him for a third thing that wasn’t so like the first…)
Dig for dinosaur bones

What are three things you don’t like?
I don’t know three things I don’t like.

Do you have any pets?
(Points to Dottie): Pet right there!

Any others? What about the chickens?
Those are the extra pets.

What do you mean, “extra?”
In case Dottie dies.

What are your three favorite places?
School
Large Midwestern Science Center
Home

What are your three least favorite places?
(Long pause) I don’t.

What’s your favorite color?
Blue!

If you were meeting someone for the first time and they wanted to get to know you better, what would you tell them about yourself?
I’d tell them my name.

Is that it?
That’s all I’d tell them.

If you could only take one thing on a trip, what would it be?
I might dry off my dinosaur set. (His dinosaurs were in the bathtub.)

If you could go to anyplace in the world, where would you go?
Large Midwestern Science Center

What’s your favorite thing about daddy?
Daddy’s so funny.

What does he do that’s funny?
He does lots of things that’s funny.

Like what?
Like he juggles two balls.

What’s your favorite thing about me?
That you’re a little bit funny.

What’s your favorite kind of music?
Dinosaur music. Dinosaurs make music with their mouths. They go ‘rar rar rar rar, rar rar rar rar, rar rar rar rar, rar rar rar.’ (Sung to the tune of “The Days of the Week Song.” It’s a lot like “Clementine.”)

Do you like to jitterbug?
Ya-oh—that’s pretty fun.

What are your three favorite foods?
Dinosaur egg oatmeal
Dinosaur soup
Dinosaur egg soup

What are your three least favorite foods?
Oranges
Apples
Pears

What do you love?
The only thing I love is dinosaurs.

Do you love daddy and me?
I like you, but the only thing I love is dinosaurs.

What else can I ask to get to know you better?
That’s all you can ask me.

Postscript

Later, Stevie told me that when he lines up to go outside with his classmates in the purple classroom, he sometimes stands on a girl. I asked him to clarify, and he admitted that he stood by her. Her name is M-----n. When I asked him why he liked her, he said, “I like the smell of her hair.”

Stevie also volunteered, during an earlier conversation, that the best alternative to a big military was a big porcupine.

About the Interviewee

Stevie is 4. He attends Expensive Preschool in Midwestern Suburb, where he is pursuing a Scrapbook Item certificate. At school, he ‘chooses’ to spend free time on the computer, and enjoys the Expensive Gymnastics! elective program. He lives in Rural Midwesterntown with his parents, dog, 16 chickens, and many, many dinosaurs.