"I have money to spend in this store." --The Pretty Woman
When I was a young adult grunger, I used to love to shop. I had no money, but that didn't matter at all. I would bop on down to the shitty part of town where the Village Thrift was located. I would spend at least an hour patiently pawing through the racks, pulling item after item into my mini cart. With scarcely a second thought, I wheeled my load to the check-out, handed over my $4.75, and watchfully made my way back to the car. Maybe I'd head to the Salvation Army or the Army Surplus store; maybe not. Either way, I was in for a treat when I got home. Digging through the big white bags, I'd pull out that day's treasures: a rust red $2.00 1970s-era leather coat; beat up 501s that--in the days before the hip 2nd-hand clothing stores on campus--could still be had for 25 cents; a black knit wrap dress with big roses. It was fun. It was like Christmas!
Today, picking my nose to the bleeding point is a more attractive option than clothes shopping. I now have some money to spend, and spend it I must--I have one of those Real Jobs, after all, and a boss who always looks hep and fresh. Only now, unlike most of my adult life, I am waddling the gap between XL and plus sizes. If style and price already cut out 85% of all the clothes in the known world, size now cuts another 12 or 13%. And then I got pregnant. And there are, apparently, 4 items of clothing that I kinda like, can afford, and can fit into.
Case in point: My generous friends got me a rather large gift certificate for Motherhood Maternity. In the desperation that comes from a looming business trip, a growing belly, and having nothing to wear, I asked Kevin to make the ultimate sacrifice and stop at the mall so I could get some clothes (I don't have a lot of excess time). "Give me 45 minutes," I said. I went straight to MM, grabbed some stuff off the rack, and got out of there fast.
Motherhood Maternity clothes are cheap. That's because they are 1. mostly "weekend" clothes; 2. made of crappy material; and 3. cut very, very badly. My business options were limited, but at least they had some XLs and even a rack of plus-size maternity clothes--a category of clothing whose mere existence could be considered a miracle.
When I got them home and tried them on, well, "disappointment" is a good descriptive word for my mood. The dresses fit but, upon bending over ever so slightly, rode up to my ass, like, pretty much all the way. Bad tailoring. The capri jeans were cute, but really more like leggings, and who wants to see skin-tight clothes on plus-size pregnant women? Most of them were going back to the store.
Motherhood gives you an ultra-generous 10 days to return their ill-fitting togs, and today was the last day. I got my store credit and was told that I could redeem it at their sister store, Mimi Maternity, which has more business fare.
Only they carry very few XLs, and no plus sizes at all. And everything is at least twice as much.
Apparently, the geniuses who own these stores don't believe that 1. barely over-average (read: "fat") women get pregnant and, if such a travesty occurs, 2. fat pregnant women don't work. Apparently, they are too busy sitting around in their trailers drinking Mountain Dew.
It's the same everywhere. Casual Corner is a long-lived store carrying a decent line of women's business clothes. They usually carry at least a dozen different suits in various colors and materials. Their sister store for petite women has pretty much the same stuff. But, walk through the open doorway to their fat sister store, the punishingly named "August Max Woman", and you'll find maybe 2-3 suits, in different colors and polyester blends. So, if you can wear a "normal" size on top and a first-line plus size on the bottom, don't even try to buy the jacket at CC and the bottoms at AMaxW--these sister stores don't carry the same suits! Even the basic black suits are made of different fabrics. It's totally stupid. And if you think you're going to find a heather grey, wool crepe, 3-season suit in your size, you're dreaming, fatty.
Thankfully, some retailers--Old Navy comes to mind--have finally caught on that the average American woman is a size 14, no matter how much shame is heaped upon her, and the sales racks are filled and have been for decades with XS and S, and so maybe they should carry 14 as the mid-point size instead of the biggest size. But Old Navy doesn't carry a lot in the business category, and its sister stores--The Gap and Banana Republic--haven't quite caught on.
And don't even get me started on shoes. My size 10s are getting more acceptable, but I still might as well be Bozo the Clown.
In the world of women's clothing, it's still true that you can't be too rich or too thin.
And I hate shopping. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Hate hate hate it.
I hate it.
And I have money to spend in this store.
Today, picking my nose to the bleeding point is a more attractive option than clothes shopping. I now have some money to spend, and spend it I must--I have one of those Real Jobs, after all, and a boss who always looks hep and fresh. Only now, unlike most of my adult life, I am waddling the gap between XL and plus sizes. If style and price already cut out 85% of all the clothes in the known world, size now cuts another 12 or 13%. And then I got pregnant. And there are, apparently, 4 items of clothing that I kinda like, can afford, and can fit into.
Case in point: My generous friends got me a rather large gift certificate for Motherhood Maternity. In the desperation that comes from a looming business trip, a growing belly, and having nothing to wear, I asked Kevin to make the ultimate sacrifice and stop at the mall so I could get some clothes (I don't have a lot of excess time). "Give me 45 minutes," I said. I went straight to MM, grabbed some stuff off the rack, and got out of there fast.
Motherhood Maternity clothes are cheap. That's because they are 1. mostly "weekend" clothes; 2. made of crappy material; and 3. cut very, very badly. My business options were limited, but at least they had some XLs and even a rack of plus-size maternity clothes--a category of clothing whose mere existence could be considered a miracle.
When I got them home and tried them on, well, "disappointment" is a good descriptive word for my mood. The dresses fit but, upon bending over ever so slightly, rode up to my ass, like, pretty much all the way. Bad tailoring. The capri jeans were cute, but really more like leggings, and who wants to see skin-tight clothes on plus-size pregnant women? Most of them were going back to the store.
Motherhood gives you an ultra-generous 10 days to return their ill-fitting togs, and today was the last day. I got my store credit and was told that I could redeem it at their sister store, Mimi Maternity, which has more business fare.
Only they carry very few XLs, and no plus sizes at all. And everything is at least twice as much.
Apparently, the geniuses who own these stores don't believe that 1. barely over-average (read: "fat") women get pregnant and, if such a travesty occurs, 2. fat pregnant women don't work. Apparently, they are too busy sitting around in their trailers drinking Mountain Dew.
It's the same everywhere. Casual Corner is a long-lived store carrying a decent line of women's business clothes. They usually carry at least a dozen different suits in various colors and materials. Their sister store for petite women has pretty much the same stuff. But, walk through the open doorway to their fat sister store, the punishingly named "August Max Woman", and you'll find maybe 2-3 suits, in different colors and polyester blends. So, if you can wear a "normal" size on top and a first-line plus size on the bottom, don't even try to buy the jacket at CC and the bottoms at AMaxW--these sister stores don't carry the same suits! Even the basic black suits are made of different fabrics. It's totally stupid. And if you think you're going to find a heather grey, wool crepe, 3-season suit in your size, you're dreaming, fatty.
Thankfully, some retailers--Old Navy comes to mind--have finally caught on that the average American woman is a size 14, no matter how much shame is heaped upon her, and the sales racks are filled and have been for decades with XS and S, and so maybe they should carry 14 as the mid-point size instead of the biggest size. But Old Navy doesn't carry a lot in the business category, and its sister stores--The Gap and Banana Republic--haven't quite caught on.
And don't even get me started on shoes. My size 10s are getting more acceptable, but I still might as well be Bozo the Clown.
In the world of women's clothing, it's still true that you can't be too rich or too thin.
And I hate shopping. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Hate hate hate it.
I hate it.
And I have money to spend in this store.
posted by lulu | 12:17 PM
1 Comments:
Is there still a Chico's at Lane Avenue? Maybe that's too Arlington for your thrift-store taste, but they have clothes for real women (not Barbie). Ask Gven Golly. If nothing else, she'll commiserate.
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