What the hell happened to me?
It turns out that I used to not only dress better, but I used to blog better, too. I used to blog a lot at work, especially when I worked for The Devil. Perhaps misery really does lead to much better art. I spent a bit of time reading over my May 2006 blogs and turned up a couple of things that made me laugh--things that made me feel a tiny bit closer to my newest hero, Tina Fey (and yes, I loved her even before the whole Sarah Palin thing; I am just that hip):
(From a post entitled "People at Work"):
When I say "she's so slow", I mean SLOOOOOW. I mean watch a sequoia seed from its light landing on the forest floor until its giant mass is inadvertantly shot down in a battle between post-apocalyptic humans and space aliens slow. And she never talks to anybody! Except for the one time I heard her say to someone that she has recovered from her back surgery, I have never heard her make a peep. I am a monster!
Why don't I take the time to come up with Rush lyric-like examples of how slow someone can walk down a hallway not wide enough for two? Now that I actually work at work, is my brain tapped out? I just can't find the space in the 95% or so that goes unused to come up with something halfway amusing or creative? Has life worn me down so much that I use tired-ass phrases like "life worn me down"? Geesh.
Here's another from a post called "P.J. and the Bear (AKA...KONG!!!)":
Why are there "Limited Edition" Skittles? Do people collect Skittles now?
That is followed by a pretty funny review (if you're askin' me!) of one of the worst movies ever; that would be Peter Jackson's "King Kong".
I think there's something about cubicle-life that turns on the brain in a way that no other work environment can. Maybe because my job was so uninspiring, so grey, I took the time for some inspiration in my blog. (No, I'm not saying I was all that, just that I was better at this than I am now.) Perhaps that is why the two funniest shows in the history of the world take place in a drab office (The Office) or while going about the boring to-dos of daily life, sorta like an outdoor cubicle world (Curb Your Enthusiasm--not Seinfeld). And don't forget Office Space. Good stuff.
Like little Stephen Penney, aspiring Canadian filmmaker and hero of the made-to-be-watched-on-acid movie "The Big Crimewave", calling from his mother's womb while she sits watching a bad movie, probably Peter Jackson's King Kong...
"I can do better!"
(From a post entitled "People at Work"):
When I say "she's so slow", I mean SLOOOOOW. I mean watch a sequoia seed from its light landing on the forest floor until its giant mass is inadvertantly shot down in a battle between post-apocalyptic humans and space aliens slow. And she never talks to anybody! Except for the one time I heard her say to someone that she has recovered from her back surgery, I have never heard her make a peep. I am a monster!
Why don't I take the time to come up with Rush lyric-like examples of how slow someone can walk down a hallway not wide enough for two? Now that I actually work at work, is my brain tapped out? I just can't find the space in the 95% or so that goes unused to come up with something halfway amusing or creative? Has life worn me down so much that I use tired-ass phrases like "life worn me down"? Geesh.
Here's another from a post called "P.J. and the Bear (AKA...KONG!!!)":
Why are there "Limited Edition" Skittles? Do people collect Skittles now?
That is followed by a pretty funny review (if you're askin' me!) of one of the worst movies ever; that would be Peter Jackson's "King Kong".
I think there's something about cubicle-life that turns on the brain in a way that no other work environment can. Maybe because my job was so uninspiring, so grey, I took the time for some inspiration in my blog. (No, I'm not saying I was all that, just that I was better at this than I am now.) Perhaps that is why the two funniest shows in the history of the world take place in a drab office (The Office) or while going about the boring to-dos of daily life, sorta like an outdoor cubicle world (Curb Your Enthusiasm--not Seinfeld). And don't forget Office Space. Good stuff.
Like little Stephen Penney, aspiring Canadian filmmaker and hero of the made-to-be-watched-on-acid movie "The Big Crimewave", calling from his mother's womb while she sits watching a bad movie, probably Peter Jackson's King Kong...
"I can do better!"
posted by lulu | 8:11 PM
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