Friends

Friends. I've never had a whole bunch; never really needed a lot. And I almost hate to say the following because it sounds so modern and cheesy. So trendy. But Facebook has reminded me that I do have friends. I just have them in shifts.

One of the best things about getting older is having a lot of experience to look back on. As I find more and more of my friends through the Power of Social Networking, I'm finding that the friends I had at different points in my life impacted my life in sometimes subtle, and sometimes powerful ways, but always in a positive way.

There are songs, moments, scenes, and whole shifts in my outlook that have stuck with me for, well, decades now. The first time I heard Van Morrison's "Astral Weeks" was in Keith's attic bedroom in his home in Columbus. Keith knew, and still knows, so much about music, and he knew how to set the mood for listening to it. I laid on his floor, surrounded by all his interesting books and records, staring up at the Christmas lights he had strung along the top of his slanted attic wall. Big colored bulbs. And I listened to that amazing record, and to Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne", and I wish I was a writer so that I could better describe 'that it was great'. And it sticks with me to this day. A very nice imprint to have.

And Keith was an interesting, lonely, wonderfully intelligent man. And I am sure he still is. We chatted awhile ago on fb, and except for the catching up there was no time between us. Talking to him, albeit through a computer, seemed very normal. And I haven't seen him in 20 years.

Mark, too. I have many more memories of Mark because I spent way more time with him and did a lot more acid with him, too. I saw a picture of him with his wife, and he looks exactly the same. Still listens to the Butthole Surfers. I'm sitting out on the steps on another unseasonably cool July evening and the light from my computer is burning my eyes, so I'll save those stories for another post.

I wrote a post a long time ago remarking on my old boyfriends and how lucky I've been. The worst I've had is a broken heart, and I've gained so much more. It's the same with my friends. Some of them, like Ted, have been with me pretty much all my life; others through stages. It doesn't matter how long, though. The imprints are there, and they've they've made up this life of mine. I have struggled these days with a lack of gratitude. I say thank you quite a bit, but there's always this underlying nagging feeling. I am truly grateful for the experience of having these people in my life. The shared experience. And I am looking forward to continuing these connections.