More commuting fun
I have a pretty healthy commute everyday. It's the price I pay for wanting to live without a bunch of jackasses around.
This morning, I started a little earlier. I approached the final bottleneck to the office just 10 minutes earlier than normal this week, and zipped right through! It's telling that traffic is so unlike nature. In nature, when paths are wide, everything slows. Very sleepy rivers. Then, when squeezed by canyon walls, the water rushes through, churling and chuggling along at exhilarating speeds. I think we all know how this plays out in traffic. Perhaps that is why, as I sit there, I often think "is this REALLY what I want to do with my life?" and then I think of Moab. Or the AT. Or Hot Waffles. And then I think, I don't make this kind of money in those places, and those places require a bit of money to really do it up right. So off I go. At an exhilarating 4 mph.
Anyway, as I was zipping along, I drove behind a big white Yukon XL, surely one of the most obnoxious SUVs. This one contained those little sports-ball emblems on its Great Plains-like back window. "Tyler" played basketball for my alma mater. His number is 30. "Tabatha" played basketball AND softball (a double threat!). Her numbers were 35 and 5, respectively. "Ugh" I groaned, as I thought of yesterday's blog and how I would raise my kid to think those things were unnecessary--don't I express my love to him everyday? Must I announce my love for his sports feats only on my car for an uncaring world? And I showed that love from the start, by NOT naming him "Tyler" or "Tabatha." "Tyler and Tabatha"--awwwwwwwww. How darling! I bet they have a whole family of "T" names. (I swore to never do that. But I'm not going to get the chance to name any new kids anyway.)
I rolled my eyes and, on their way down, they spotted the Yukon XLs personalized license plate: "TY N TAB"
It's a good thing I hadn't had breakfast at that point. Aren't those kids embarrassed to enter that vehicle? Or are they so full of their athletic prowess that they feel entitled to such platitudinous idolatry? Sometimes parents just take it too far. And I'm guessing embarrassed.
This morning, I started a little earlier. I approached the final bottleneck to the office just 10 minutes earlier than normal this week, and zipped right through! It's telling that traffic is so unlike nature. In nature, when paths are wide, everything slows. Very sleepy rivers. Then, when squeezed by canyon walls, the water rushes through, churling and chuggling along at exhilarating speeds. I think we all know how this plays out in traffic. Perhaps that is why, as I sit there, I often think "is this REALLY what I want to do with my life?" and then I think of Moab. Or the AT. Or Hot Waffles. And then I think, I don't make this kind of money in those places, and those places require a bit of money to really do it up right. So off I go. At an exhilarating 4 mph.
Anyway, as I was zipping along, I drove behind a big white Yukon XL, surely one of the most obnoxious SUVs. This one contained those little sports-ball emblems on its Great Plains-like back window. "Tyler" played basketball for my alma mater. His number is 30. "Tabatha" played basketball AND softball (a double threat!). Her numbers were 35 and 5, respectively. "Ugh" I groaned, as I thought of yesterday's blog and how I would raise my kid to think those things were unnecessary--don't I express my love to him everyday? Must I announce my love for his sports feats only on my car for an uncaring world? And I showed that love from the start, by NOT naming him "Tyler" or "Tabatha." "Tyler and Tabatha"--awwwwwwwww. How darling! I bet they have a whole family of "T" names. (I swore to never do that. But I'm not going to get the chance to name any new kids anyway.)
I rolled my eyes and, on their way down, they spotted the Yukon XLs personalized license plate: "TY N TAB"
It's a good thing I hadn't had breakfast at that point. Aren't those kids embarrassed to enter that vehicle? Or are they so full of their athletic prowess that they feel entitled to such platitudinous idolatry? Sometimes parents just take it too far. And I'm guessing embarrassed.
posted by lulu | 5:03 AM
2 Comments:
Gross. Really gross. Imagine a LIFE of self-congratulatory, ostentatious, conspicuously consuming, (add your favorite barf-bag adjective here__________), platitudinous idolatry. It's weird. No doubt Ted n Terry are completely sincere in their belief that they're doing all the right things for Ty n Tab and that "it's for the kids!" rather than just getting their own narcissistic rocks off.
Anyway, I liked your morning contemplation on flow and eddy. Maybe I'll name our next pair of cats Flo and Eddie!
my parents named their kids
janis
jon
joan
jam master j
when i was naturalized as a US citizen (which i have yet to prove) i was asked if i wanted to change my name. i was thinking of something along the lines of Elle McPhereson, but that would've ruined my mom's theme names. so i kept my given name out of respect for my mother. my dad's name is jake, by the way.
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