Abject poverty is not as fun or glamourous as I thought it might be.

We're down to our last $150. Total. That's work and personal checking. That's liquid funds.

I still have my 401K, which has lost $11,000 of value over the last, oh, 9 months. As soon as I put a big percentage of it into Hill stock, it tanked. I seem to have a talent for buying high and selling low (though I haven't sold it--I'll hold on at least until I'm forced to cash it out), for buying a house when the market is peaking and selling it when no one is buying. Although...we did sell it pretty fast, I must say, but only after dropping thousands of dollars on it for last-minute improvements (roof, carpet, mulch).

So there's some good news here. And in just 8 years of marriage we've paid off one debt, racked up another, and paid that off, too, before racking up this new incredible total. I've always had this thing with money--it always seemed to appear just when I needed it most. And Kevin and I have proved a very scrappy team that pulls out the stops when it comes to paying off land, buying a house, paying off a credit card debt.

My confidence is wavering a bit. Just a bit. And only because the size of the debt, compared with our income, is intimidating. Back when I was pulling in $1,800 every two weeks (net), a few thousand dollars didn't seem so big. Now, I make $10 hour, part-time. It'll be $13 in the spring, but still. We continue to sell things at the shop, but the winter lull has been very lully. (Come, Spring!) That's a fact of life in this business.

Still, we're getting to the end of our credit card limits and I find myself having to juggle--which one still has enough on it to pay this bill? For the last 4 months, we've had to put our $800-$900 electric bill on a credit card. I HATE having to pay bills with a loan! (Those enormous electric bills will only last for another 7 months, and it's because we had to pay to have a 3-phase transformer put in--we're not using that much electricity.) We've streamlined even when I thought there was no room to streamline. We kept Netflix, but that is our entire entertainment budget. I had to buy hay for the animals the other day. That just has to be done, and the animals are not going anywhere. I figure we've saved enough to buy the hay by not eating lunch out in the last two months.

I needed to vent this, people. I'm not asking for handouts or pity. I said I would document what it was really like for regular people to give up "real" jobs and start a small business. This is nothing more than what we've always heard is to be expected. It's only when you're in the thick of it, though, that you really get what that means.

I've got to go pick up Stevie from school. I'll leave you with this: I think I'm going to apply for the newly-open executive director position at the Chamber of Commerce. It's part-time despite their efforts to create a full-time position. I've been talking to people and we all think that if I took the job, I could merge it with my existing tourism position and eliminate a lot of the overlap between the two positions. I'm also the only person in town who is in the position to make this happen. Interesting!

I don't want a full-time job, but it's time to get scrappy. Our silent partner can take over my important but meager job duties in our business. And I could finally become the overlord that I was born to be.

No Country For Old Men

Well, that's a crock. In Oscar World, it's all ABOUT old men, and young men, and pretty much all men, as long as they're white. There is a definite dearth of women nominees, and hardly any in the technical categories.

What's up? When it comes to grrrl power, Hollywood is actually more conservative and backward than the U.S. government. Do we need to start national film-career apprenticeship programs for girls and women to get females behind the camera?

The few women who did win came from the alternative world of documentaries and indies. That's heartening. But isn't it odd that women have always been and, seemingly, continue to be shut out of the higher echelons of all art forms? Imagine the amount of press it would get if 97% of the nominees (or the Senators, or the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, etc.) were women. Well, I think the status quo deserves the same amount of shock and attention.

I know this is not a new or original observation, but that, more than anything, is what came through at last night's Oscars. That and the fact that there are way too many strapless gowns with a too-fitted bodice ending in yet another fishtail.

Bo-Ring!

Forcing an Entry

I'm behind, and boy do I know it.

Things have been hopping around here. I got my intern in the tourism office, and we're scrambling to get her job description and goals written. It's not easy, because it involves deciding which tasks, out of millions, to focus on. The tourism possibilities are exploding all over the place and wrastlin' them to the ground so they can be acted upon is a challenge. This is a part-time job. Turning into an obsession.

And my intern's attitude is pretty negative. We share an office, and after a couple of days I'm entertaining the idea of counting all of the times that she sighs. She's already made statements like "If they think I'm covering that whole territory they're crazy. I'm not doing it." as if there was a lot of choice. How can a person be so put-upon after a week of work? I mean, this is a fun job, with lots of flexibility, and I'm working with her to create a job description that plays to her strengths and interests. WTF? Still, I've learned two things about myself in this short period: 1. I am a positive person, at least when it comes to my work tasks. I will try anything, and look for solutions to problems. Also, 2. I am no longer uncomfortable with calling people out for being negative. If their attitude sucks, I will point it out (and try to find a solution). I've already asked my intern "Do you regret taking this position? I am trying to work with you but I'm not sure what else I can do." She was much more positive after that.

Last night I attended a forum on youth leadership and development moderated by the other intern in the office. (She works under the direct supervision of the economic development director.) I loathed giving up an evening of quilting to go, but Miss Intern is very young and this was her first attempt at something like this and I would have felt like a bad parent if I had not gone. I'm glad I went! About 12 people discussed what we could do to beef-up existing job-sharing programs, get young people involved on boards and councils, and find stuff for them to do.

Hometown has lots of sports programs (and devotes 2-pages of each Daily News to youth sports--a ridiculously huge amount), and 4-H, Scouts, and all the other usual suspects are out there. But not all kids are joiners. If you are the parent of a child who is NOT involved in sports or organized groups, there is no place to see those kids do their thing, and no recognition.

My idea of a "youth co-op" got some attention, and it's all I can think about since. What if the city bought a downtown building (there are several for sale, and they're amazingly cheap) and gave it to the kids for a youth co-op? Time would become the currency of the co-op, and teenagers could finally have a teen center that went far beyond the lame efforts usually put forth by their elders. They could set themselves up as a non-profit and gain loads of experience in fundraising, managing money, teamwork, etc. while putting on entertainment and educational events for youth. There could be art shows, talent shows, dances, poetry readings (there was one of these not long ago and it was a huge success), movie screenings, etc. There could also be classes, taught by either kids or adults, on a wide range of topics of their choice. I think it's a hell of an idea.

Other than that, let's see. Every night I have to close one of my bedroom curtains to block out the neighbors' porch lights. Between two houses across the street, there are FIVE very bright porch lights. I like the convenience of town life, but I miss the darkness of the true country. What are they so damn afraid of, anyway? Any light that is shining in MY eyes is not keeping burglers away. It reminds me of when I lived in the woods and rarely, rarely used a flashlight. Did you know it's usually much easier to walk through the woods using the light that does exist in the night sky? You could always tell when a country rookie was around--out came the flashlights, even on clear, full-moon eves.

I made a new year's resolution to finish one quilt per month. I got January's in the bag (photo TK), and am well on my way to finishing February's.

I need to lose weight, but I can't make that a resolution. It's too cliche, and too frustrating when it fails within two weeks.

We're still horribly broke at the shop, but warmer weather brings all kinds of green. It's really stressful, you know, to not have the money to pay the bills when the bills come in. I can keep it in check most of the time, but a tiny negative event can bring it all roaring to the fore. That's rare, though. Kevin donated a "Custom Engraving" to a local sick kid's fundraiser this past weekend. It brought $200!!! He has plenty of scrap pieces of granite to carve stuff on (MLK Jr. and John Lennon, for example), and if it draws that kind of interest and money, it would make sense to donate more carvings to the plethora of fundraisers in this town.

Kids are good: Mark is still obsessed with farm animals, and wants to watch "Charlotte's Web" every day. Stevie is half-way through Harry Potter Year 5.

Enough!

The British Invasion, or "'Ello, gov-nah!"

As my faithful readers know, I was in charge of organizing a luncheon and Q&A session for three members of the UK Parliament and four young British political leaders who are visiting Missouri to learn more about our electoral process. And I gotta say...it was a smashing success! Really brilliant. Bully!

They stopped in Hometown on their way from St. Louis to Kansas City to talk politics with regular, small-town people--31 of them, invited by me (with a little help from my friends), representing a cross-section of the population (to the best of my ability). And they all came! The locals and the woman overseeing the Brits' travel plans got to tour the beautiful hotel where lunch was held (www.hotelfrederick.com) and were very impressed. And the Brits were really pleased to finally meet regular Americans instead of just highly-political, partisan leader-types. There was a lot of loud conversation and laughter, and the Brits commented several times about how warm, welcoming, friendly, and open Americans are. I sent them away with a travel bag filled with Hometown stuff--the MO Life issue featuring Hometown, the newspaper with the local Super Tuesday election results (McCain and Clinton carried the county), local chocolates, a notepad in the shape of MO, a little info packet about Hometown, etc. A good time was had by all! Really, it was a lovefest.

So, with that behind me, it's on to 1. working out a year-long job description for "my" intern, 2. planning the kid's events at the big Best of MO Life festival in May, and 3. all my usual crap. Oh, and that stupid questionnaire/albatross thing. Perhaps I'll get my intern to help....

A nice picture of our new British best friends can be found here (I hope):
http://myhopephoto.com/gallery2/v/Boonville+Mo/The+British+are+coming/IMG_6850.JPG.html

Cheerio, gov'nah!

Back from Buffalo

I finally got the biggest item knocked off my list and, guess what? I was way over-prepared. Better than the alternative.

So I get to Buffalo and have 1.5 hours to present (instead of 2-2.5), and only 4 teachers show up--none of whom is actually using the Econ book. At least, they haven't yet. So I gave them the basic overview of the program which, had I known that was all I was going to have to do, would not have taken me as long to prepare. Then they canceled the afternoon session, which would have had many more teachers, because of the loathsome weather and the threat--just the threat--of losing power. I was sorta disappointed! I mean, I was there, ready to roll, and there were some new teachers who really wanted to know how to work all their new toys.

Because the weather was so awful, I told my host to not take me to Niagara Falls (about 25 miles away). Instead, I headed back to the hotel at noon, watched TV, ate junk food (there were no good alternatives), and read Harry Potter, Year 6. I flew out the next day--just as well since the airport was closed Wednesday--and read some more Harry Potter.

On Saturday, I started on Harry Potter, Year 7, and finished it on Sunday afternoon. What a great story! Harry and friends have even been showing up in my dreams these past weeks--I suppose that's what happens when you read all 7 books, back-to-back, over a short period of time. Loved them. Loved, loved, loved them. And Stevie, who just started on Year 5 today, loves them, too. Last night he finished 4 and immediately marched to the bookshelf to get, and start, Book 5. I told him that his grandmother, who is also reading them with gusto, just took 5 a few hours prior. His horror was IMMEDIATE. His face scrunched up as if he couldn't decide whether to cry or attack, and he yelled, "She'll regret!" before we assured him that we would get it back before school the next day.

I told him we would go over and swap dust jackets so that it would look like she still had Book 5, but actually she would just have Book 4 with the jacket from 5. He loved the idea and wrote a little note to stick in the book: "Gotch-ya! Name Peeves"

However, his dad botched the switch this morning. He went over there, took his shoes off, and attempted to sneak through the house--a house containing two live, awake people. Finally his mother called, "Kevin?" and when he confirmed, she asked, "Looking for this?" and presented the book, which had been in her room. Foiled!

So I'm back from Buffalo, I've been reading, and now I don't know what the hell to do with all my spare time.

I'm joking! I've got loads still. Talk to you later, dear reader.